My New Life

Things have changed SO MUCH in my life. I can't say for sure when it started. Things constantly changed, whether it was moving to the apartment in the sky, getting hired on at the Hotel, starting a relationship. I think I finally sought out my own happiness when I started dating Chris.

I am now progressing much more rapidly than ever before. I'm facing new things everyday, and the most notable is that it's not just one aspect of my life that has changed. For example, in the past I got a new job... so my workday changed. I moved, so where I lived changed. But now almost every hour of my day that isn't spent sleeping is different. I can't go visit Chris on my day off.. because I'm not really getting days off. I'm always doing schoolwork or working, or am in class.

My days revolve around school not work. It is stressful, and the most work I've ever had to do while in school. I felt on the edge yesterday and the day before. Thought I was going to go home and cry later on because of how much work this all is. But it didn't take long to realize that everything I feel "behind" on, everyone else was too. I succeeded in calming myself down, even though it took a day to lower my heart rate.

Last night after our quiz in night class, most of us 3rd years went out and had some drinks. It made for a pretty great night, and it was just what I needed.

I know I can handle this now. I am using up all the potential I've been wasting or been afraid of using all these years. I may not be the best in the class, but I am determined to succeed. Also, I love what I'm working toward. I have never actually had a final goal. Having one now makes my troubles worthwhile. Also... I can't wait to be published so all the people who were dicks to me when I was younger can go suck lemons when they see how far I've gone. I can't wait to see my name in print, or on the news, or wherever. It makes me giddy.